I feel like I'm loosing my mind!!

Nobody understands, the pain,the exhaustion, the numb foggy feeling in my head. I feel so helpless in this battle. I feel so alone. I am supposed to be at work, but I just can't seem to get myself going, I hurt all over, I'm so cold, and I feel like an elephant is sitting on me. So I text my boss and tell her again I can't make it. She is running out of patience, but I don't care, because no one understands. The depression, the shooting pains all over my body in various areas, sporadic pain, confusing pain. I take gabapentin 2400 mg. a day, 150mg of Tramadol for the pain. Now I am dependant on them, to just be enough coverage to mask the pain. But when this maddening thing "FLARES" NOTHING MASKS THE PAIN! What more can I do, has anyone cured themselves from this creature. I feel like I must of pissed off God, cause I don't know why he has blessed me with this PAIN. Please, if any of you that have gotten better, or have advice for my future with this nasty thing, I hate to think I will have to go UP in the milligrams on any of the meds I take, how I fear when I reach the Max then WHAT?? Thank you fo letting me rant. Sorry if I offended anyone. I'm just so tired, of the pain and I wish the people around me would be more understanding! Thank you, Sandy W