Abusive Relationship

So I just found out from my daughter that today is Thursday. I have been in an extreme flare since Tuesday. The hardest thing is that it's my second one in two weeks. After three months of being in remission I have told several people that there is only one way to explain how this feels. It's like being in an abusive relationship with yourself. Your body is beating itself up and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. And when you come out of the pain and the flare goes away you are left with the emotional pain of having absolutely no control over the pain, depression, anxiety, sleep issues. The Pain goes away for a little while but everyday you are wondering in the back of your mind, is today the day I'm going to get beat again. Fibromyalgia or any Chronic disease is the abusive partner that you can't run away from, you can't leave them, there is no shelter for us to hide from the pain. Even as a Pastor and a woman of God, Loving God with my whole heart. Being able to run to Him allow Him to comfort me in the middle of the pain, there is so much I don't understand. But I do know all pain has and will serve a purpose, but for now my prayer to the Lord is God, how do I get out of this abuse relationship called Fibromyalgia? And if You have purposed this pain, then please show me why. God bless, praying for you all. Pastor Kellie Campbell