Mindfulness/ Pain Management Therapy

I am a 54 year old woman. I am American however am married to a Swede and have been in Sweden for 13 years. After a huge slump in my pain curve i became depressed quite severely in 2014. I have a condition and progressive disease process called degenerative disk disease and as I began perimenopausal symptoms around 50, life became unbearable in a variety of ways. I have a systemic form of arthritis and although it has been referred to as "reactive arthritis", my symptoms can mimic Rheumatoid Arthritis and gout. 

In 2015  was diagnosed by a Rheumatologist in Gothenburg with Fibromyalgia. I have been through a pain management training program where pain management tools were shared that have helped me with my daily mentality. I still have days when I resent my situation and of course it is easy to fall back into that dark place I lived daily 4 years ago.

I have a book I ordered called, "How to Live Well with Chronic pain and Illness, a Mindful guide" by Toni Bernhard. There is a quote in the book by Thich Nhat Hanh, " if we practice mindfulness, we always have a place to be when we are afraid". It took me years to truly understand and grasp the entire meaning of those few words. I can even find myself resenting "techniques" and advice. Living in the moment, like most well meaning guidelines, is easier said than done. I still slip and fall into the pit of anxiety and start drowning in my sense of uselessness; I bounce back more quickly however psychologically than before and that i what I have gained. I think in terms of "can do´s" instead of "can´t do´s" mostly and sometimes need to write down every detail of my day to review later and give myself a break by applauding my productivity. By doing this one can learn to value one´s existence and learn to love your changing body, cradling memories of your past when you hiked mountains or ran marathons with tenderness instead of anger.